A few years back I spent a solid week in the hospital, followed by a month long recovery at home. During that time we were blessed by many, many family and friends who brought us meals. It was so helpful to have that part of my day covered. My family certainly ate better during that month than they usually do!
From that experience and from watching others around me in similar situations, I learned a few things about how to be the most helpful to my loved ones who need an extra hand during tough situations.
1. Do NOT take food in containers that have to be returned. Use Ziplock bags, Rubbermaid containers or foil pans. If your friend needs you to bring food, it's because they are going through something stressful. By leaving your dishes with them, you are actually adding to their stress, not taking it away.
I once took a meal to some friends who had gone through a series of tragedies in a very short time. When I dropped off food in their kitchen, there was a pile of at least 20 pans and dishes on their counter from previous meals people had brought them. When I asked my friend if I could return some of them for him, he told me he didn't even know who they belonged to. I don't know about you, but staring at a stack of dishes I can neither put away nor return to their owners stresses me out.
If you absolutely cannot use disposable containers, there are a couple other things you can do. When I made some things for my neighbor, I went over and got her dishes, made my food in them, and took it over to her. She still had some minimal clean up but she didn't have to return my stuff.
One lady made us spaghetti sauce in her own pot, brought it to my house and transferred it into my pot. She brought the cooked noodles in Ziplock bags. Again, minimal clean up and I didn't have to return her pots. Excellent!
2. Think outside of the evening meal. Don't get me wrong, bringing supper is awesome, but most people eat more than one meal a day. One of my friends brought us breakfast foods when I was sick; homemade pancakes and waffles along with precooked sausage patties. This was especially helpful for me because my kids could put these in the microwave or toaster and I didn't have to help them. Breakfast burritos, casseroles, muffins and cinnamon rolls all freeze nicely and would make great breakfast ideas.
Snacks are also a good thing to add to your deliveries, especially for anyone who is homebound. Fresh fruits and veggies, a gallon of milk or a box of granola bars might be just what someone needs to make it through the day.
3. Make things that can go in the freezer. If things are freezer-ready, it adds flexibility. If yours is the third lasagna they've received in as many days, being able to put one in the freezer for next week is a great option.
4. Bigger isn't always better. After surgeries, people often have restrictions on how much they can lift. That extra big casserole might be more than they can safely get in and out of the oven. Consider making two smaller pans instead of one huge one, even for larger families. They can have them both in one setting or even put the second in the freezer for later.
5. Have one person bring the whole meal, even if more than one person prepares it, at a specific time. Sick people need rest. Some of them may have difficulty getting up and down. They need to wear their jammies and not worry about putting on make-up. Having only one person stop by is probably less stressful than answering the door three or four times. Send a text before you leave your house, letting them know that you should be there in so many minutes. This gives them a few minutes to unlock the door, brush their teeth or whatever they need to do to be comfortable.
Don't stay too long. Remember, your loved one needs lots of rest! Chances are, they'll put on a brave face while you're there, even if it means extra pain for them once you've left.
6. Consider bringing plastic silverware and/or paper plates along with your meal. This makes clean up easy peasy!
7. Don't have people bring things every single day. Three times a week is probably enough for most people. Every day can be overwhelming and there can be so many leftovers that people end up throwing food out and feeling bad about it.
8. Have one person coordinate the meals for the entire duration. Consider using a website to make things easier for everyone. I've seen Take Them a Meal and Lotsa Helping Hands. Take Them a Meal is more public, where anyone can gain access. Lotsa is more private, where members must be approved to join a community of helpers. Both include easy ways to sign up for needed meals.
This person can also check with the receiving family to make sure there are no food allergies or needs to be aware of.
9. Consider gift cards to local restaurants. These can be used on days when no one is signed up to bring food or even later, when meals stop coming but the recipient just needs a day off from the kitchen.
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Have you even been blessed by others bringing you meals? What did you appreciate most? What was the hardest for you? What would you add to this list?
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